Off the Couch
by NotAContrivance
Summary: Edwin compares himself to Derek after the whole Sandra thing... He doesn't like what he sees, but someone else does.


Okay, so Lizzie's in 4th grade (9) and Edwin's in 5th grade (10). Got it? So Lizzie's young and Edwin's young. And yeah... I figured I should do one focusing on L/E 'cause no one ever does... And I like them and they're adorable and they get along. Oh, and it's set AFTER (directly after) Marti the Monster.

Don't own LWD or any of the characters involved.

I was sitting on my bed... thinking. I know, rare, huh? Man, I hate the attic. It's so drafty up here.

See, I don't ever get what I want. Derek gets what he wants... because he's Derek.

And he's so cool. It's like, he knows exactly the right thing to do, the right thing to say. All the time! And I get stuck being his brother... Following his act. Do you have any idea how hard that is?

Marti's the wild, imaginative one. Derek's the smooth, charming, popular, shrewd one. And I'm... Well, I'm just Edwin. I didn't even get a decent name! I'm the runt of the litter, the loser of the name lottery.

I'm not popular, not even in the slightest. I mean, you ever wonder why I never have friends over? Yeah, it's because I don't really have them. Oh, and girls... Don't even get me started.

I'm like a troll, a toad, something disgusting to them... Like the way Lizzie's friends look at me. It's horrible. I know I'm not Derek, okay? I mean, sure, we share half of the same DNA, right? You would think I would be more like him, but I'm not...

Him and Marti... They've got their own little club. I'm okay with that, you know... Because it means she doesn't do "Beauty Shop" to me. But it hurts, sometimes, being on the outside...

I mean, Casey and Lizzie are like this little club in and of themselves. You know? I get it because they're sisters... But how come Derek and I aren't that close? He just steals from me, threatens me, and forces me to do his dirty work.

Pretty lousy brother I've got there.

And he took the one girl I liked. Sandra... She's so pretty. So Derek had to have her. Naturally.

Because what Derek wants, Derek gets... Naturally.

I mean, sure... She's like five years older than me. Big deal.

I walked in on them kissing, you know... It totally sucked. I mean, it really hurts. Even if she promised me that in a few years... She doesn't mean it.

She just thinks of me as a little kid. A little, sweet, adorable kid. Which maybe I am.

But it doesn't mean that I don't deserve people caring about me! Because I do! But... no one.

No one likes me more than anyone in this family. I'm just the guy who fades into the background. I'm in Derek's shadow, buried behind Casey's drama queen act, covered up by Marti's antics... And, finally, Lizzie.

And this whole Sandra thing... It just proves it even more. I should go to bed now...

Then, suddenly, the door opened. I blinked, not used to all the light flooding in... It's pretty dark in the attic right now. What does Derek want now? To gloat? Let me guess... He wants me to do him a favor.

Well, I'm not doing him any favors. He doesn't deserve it. I'm sick of doing crap for him! He never does anything for me! Not even a thanks! Ugh. I hate my life.

Oh, guess it's not Derek... Lizzie? But what's she doing up here? In her pajamas, nonetheless! Well, it's better than seeing Casey... She has curves and stuff...

Which I shouldn't think about. Derek does, though... You can so tell. He's completely perverted. Sometimes I think he sort of likes Casey. Not that I ever tell him that. He would knock my block off. Duh.

"Hey Edwin... How was your day?" Lizzie said quietly. I gave her a weird look... Seriously, why was she up here? Miserable... Crappy... Awful... Tiring. Yours?

I didn't say any of that, though. I just shrugged. She doesn't come up here to talk. We don't chat a lot... Sometimes. About Derek and Casey's insanity, usually... Loonies.

Lizzie frowned, sitting down next to me on the bed. I sighed, turning to face her. I just wanted to tell someone who would understand. And, right now, that's Lizzie. "Okay, so my day was horrible. I went shopping with Casey, Emily, and Sandra... Carried their bags all day, and she... She still chose Derek!" I ranted, panting a little.

Lizzie shot me a curious look. Oh, yeah... She doesn't know who Sandra is. "Who's Sandra?" She asked calmly.

I sighed for seemingly the millionth time all day before answering her, "Derek's Flavor of the Week."

Lizzie giggled. For some odd reason, that made me smile. No idea why, but it did. It was nice to know that someone thought I was funny... But so did Sandra. And she rejected me... for my pig of a brother! I thought sensitive guys get girls?

No, see... Guys who act get girls. You know, initiators... Like Derek and Sam. Not Sam, really... He needs to try harder.

One thing, though... Hmm... I should tell Lizzie. I think I've had a breakthrough! I turned to look at Lizzie. "I just realized something... All of Derek's Flavors of the Week are like Casey! Vicky looked just like her... and Sandra thought the same..." I explained authoritatively. Science. I know science. I'm the geek brother, remember?

Lizzie mulled this over for a second. Her brown eyes widened, realizing that I was right and had a point there. "Hmm." She was obviously debating telling Casey this, but decided against it. She was probably afraid Casey was going to pummel her too.

Lizzie licked her lips, thinking carefully before speaking. "So you like this Sandra, and you feel she chose Derek over you?" Lizzie questioned authoritatively. She sounds like a shrink. I think I need one... Life's been so stressful lately. I only nodded, sighing once again.

Lizzie pursed her lips, hesitantly reaching out and putting a hand on my shoulder. I turned to face her... Why was I suddenly nervous? It's just Lizzie... I'm... This is so weird.

"She's stupid. Derek's such a jerk. You're _so_ much better than him..." Lizzie exclaimed rather vehemently. I blinked, unbelieving that she had just said that, for a minute. Casey's her sister. Of course she thinks Derek's a jerk. Does she mean that? I mean, it's sort of emphatic for her to not mean that... I guess. It's sort of... sweet of her.

No one's ever said I'm better than Derek. At anything. Not even in school. Despite the fact that I passed Kindergarten! I didn't have to take anything twice!

I was a bit surprised. Okay, so maybe I was gaping... "You... you don't think... he's cute?" I stuttered, stunned beyond belief. Lizzie sort of smirked, reminding me eerily of Derek.

Then she leaned in closer... Which sort of freaked me out because I could smell her... She smells like... I dunno, that girly stuff girls spray all the time. It's a nice smell, I guess... Kinda fruity. She doesn't smell like Sandra. "Casey does though," She whispered sagely, shaking her head.

Casey? Casey thinks Derek's cute? I laughed then, and she did too. We were talking about our siblings. Familiar topic, familiar subject... Really familiar. Get it, like family? Okay, lame joke, I know...

I'm not Derek... I'm not quick-witted or snappy. I'm kinda sorta lame. We had a long laugh about that. "Derek won't admit it... But he checks Casey out all the time. All the time. And he's so obvious about it, too!" I muttered, grinning, in response. Man, if they found us, we were going to be so dead. Not that they would... Casey's asleep and Derek's making out downstairs.

Lizzie laughed. "Casey does too! Oh, and if you read her diary... She talks about what he wears and stuff... I remember one time she said, and I quote: "Derek looked so hot at the party tonight... If he wasn't my stepbrother, I might've kissed him in the bathroom," Lizzie declared amusedly.

She reads Casey's diary? That is so cool. I want to read it too. Hehe. Blackmail. I mean, I thought Lizzie was such a goody-goody like her sister... Well, that's wrong. We continued to laugh and exchange stories about our idiotic siblings...

Then Lizzie yawned and smiled warmly at me. "I don't know if this means anything to you, Edwin, but _I_ think you're cute," Lizzie mumbled, blushing a little. She looked down and away from me, like she was embarrassed or worried I would become a jerk all of a sudden... Like Derek.

"Yeah, actually, it does... I'm just so used to everyone fawning over Derek... I don't get to hear things like that much," I replied modestly, feeling very grateful. For some stupid reason, I couldn't keep the smile off my face.

Lizzie looked at me, smiling nervously... Just barely. She has a nice smile... and pretty hair.

"Well, you should... if they're true," She said softly, awkwardly. I smiled at her widely. It was nice to see that maybe someone else in the house cared about me.

"Thanks."

I couldn't say that enough... So I fumbled around for her hand in the dark until finally, I found it. Her hand was warm... Not sweaty. Soft and smooth... Like a girl's hand should be. Her fingers curled around mine.

We sat there in an awkward yet comfortable silence for a minute or two... It seemed like forever, let me tell you.

Then I made a decision. Not the type of decision I would usually make... It's not even really the decision that Derek would make... in a way. I made a decision... for me. And it felt good!

I leaned in suddenly and kissed Lizzie. Her lips were soft and she tastes like cherry-flavored Chapstick. I think she's kissing me back... This... This is nice.

You know, I'm glad Dad met Nora. Then I never would've got to do this... I feel all different... More manly. Who knows, maybe I'll even be able to stand up to Derek! I don't need him.

Then I pulled back, opening my eyes slowly. Lizzie opened hers and grinned at me shyly. I smiled back at her softly. "That was nice," She replied, sounding somewhat dazed.

I nodded eagerly in response, and Lizzie laughed again. She sighed. Why is she sighing? Was I that bad? "I'm sorry, Edwin... I ought to be getting to bed. You know... School tomorrow," She stated, sounding apologetic.

It's okay, Lizzie. I understand what you're trying to do... I can't blame you. I'd do it too. "I know." I looked down dejectedly, but Lizzie grabbed me by the collar, pulling me into a more passionate kiss... Can I say that? I don't know about these sort of things.

She broke the kiss after what seemed like ages... I don't think I had a molecule of diatomic Oxygen in my lungs, honestly... She was breathless, and her hair was a little messy because I had been playing with it... But she was so pretty.

"I like you, Edwin," She whispered, getting up and slowly letting go of my hand. I gave her my "look". She didn't laugh like Sandra... She just gave me a look of her own, smiling coyly. Then she got up and left, closing my door behind her.

I collapsed back on my bed, thinking of all that had happened today.

So maybe I didn't get my first kiss on the couch... Or my second. But that was okay, for some reason.

Hmm... I think... I think... I think I... I...

I think I like Lizzie back.

Loren ;)

Aww... Fluffy. I appreciate reviews (hint, hint). Anyways, fini!


End file.
